The following are random thoughts on the topic
interspersed with questions that a top and bottom
should ask themselves during negotiation of a
What is the bottom looking for?
Some possibilities are:
(a) excitement of the struggle
(b) contentment when finally restrained
(c) adrenaline rush
(d) accommodating the top
What is the top looking for?
Some possibilities are:
(a) thrill of the capture
(b) pleasure of subduing an unruly bottom
(c) adrenaline rush
(d) accommodating the bottom
Is the bottom giving consent?
If not, then this is assault or rape and not a bdsm scene.
The remainder of these notes assumes the play
is consensual among all parties involved.
Is the bottom going to cooperate?
(A) no, bottom does not cooperate
The bottom wants the excitement of being subdued
despite all his/her efforts to prevent it.
This is a dangerous form of play where either party
can get hurt during the struggling.
Some ways to mitigate the dangers:
1. top is much stronger and/or heavier than bottom
2. top knows take-down techniques such as those
taught to police or from military training
and bottom is not trained in resistance techniques.
3. top knows take-down techniques from some form
of martial arts training
and bottom is not trained in resistance techniques.
4. top has help
(a) superior manpower
(b) superior weapons
(ii) stun gun
(B) yes, bottom cooperates fully
This is more of a form of roleplay and would be used
primarily when the participants want to get a (pretend)
feeling of overpowerment play, yet do not want to take
any risks of getting hurt.
The scene might be choreographed or the bottom may
just agree to pretend to struggle, but easily give in.
(C) yes, bottom cooperates partially
1. bottom agrees to cooperate fully for a fixed amount of time
(for example, set an egg timer to go off at which
point the bottom may begin to struggle in earnest)
2. bottom agrees to cooperate fully for a variable amount of time
(a) time known only when play begins
roll a die to determine the number of minutes
the bottom will cooperate
(b) time is a surprise
use some random event to determine when bottom
3. participants follow a roleplay script in which bottom
is "tricked" into partial cooperation. At some point
during the roleplay,
(a) the bottom realizes something is amiss and demands to
be released. The top laughs and the struggle begins.
(b) the top reveals his/her dishonorable intentions
and the struggle begins.
4. bottom agrees to be handicapped
Bottom begins scene
(a) with a short hobble connecting ankles
(b) with ankles tied tightly
(c) with toes tied together
(d) wearing a blindfold and agrees not to remove it
(e) wearing a headharness including a blindfold that is locked on
(f) wearing a hood
(g) wearing non-restrictive items that help the top
(i) Japanese body harness (gives lots of attachment points)
(ii) wrist and/or ankle cuffs with D-rings
could be locking or non-locking
(iii) leather wrist cuffs locked on with short lengths
of rope already attached to D-rings
(iv) dangling ropes tied to ankles and wrists
(v) belt with lots of O-rings around it
(vi) wearing high heel shoes to restrict movement
(vii) pebbles in shoes
(h) with fingers taped together
(i) with knees tied together
(j) with hands tied loosely in front
(k) with hands tied tightly in front
(l) with one hand tied to waist belt in front
(m) with one hand tied to waist belt in back
(n) with elbows bound together in the back
(o) wearing mittens (without fingers)
(p) wearing mittens duct taped around wrist
(q) wearing bondage mittens locked on hands
(r) wearing one bondage mitten
(s) with thumbs immobilized by duct tape
(t) lying on bed with top already on top of them
(u) restricted to bed
(v) restricted to a padded room
(w) wearing high-heeled shoes
Pick a card at random from a deck of cards containing
the above list and use that for the initial handicap.
Pick several cards.
In addition to any of the above techniques where the
bottom cooperates, the top may also be given an advantage:
1. Multiple people on top
Best to practice in advance.
What does the bottom want to happen to him/her after he/she
is finally immobilized?
What does the top want to do to the bottom after he/she has
been fully restrained?
Will there be any incentives offered to encourage the particpants
to struggle harder?
(A) rewards to bottom
(B) rewards to top
(C) penalties to bottom
(D) penalties to top
Will the bottom know when the scene will occur?
Unexpected takedowns/kidnapping can be fun.
Of course, the event really can't be completely unexpected.
Ways to keep bottom in suspense:
1. Leave some "slop" in the start time.
Example: Bottom is blindfolded and earplugged and
leaves door to house unlocked. Top agrees to come over
sometime between 2 and 4pm to stage a fake house break-in.
Bottom will not know exactly when top will show up.
2. Provide a choice of days.
(a) Bottom agrees to be home each day at a certain time
for a period of a week. Bottom lies on bed blindfolded
and listening to music through headphones as a way of
relaxing. On one of those days (chosen by top), top
sneaks into house, pretneding to be a burglar, and
overpowers bottom. Bottom will not know on which day
this will occur.
(b) Bottom gives top key to house and agrees in advance
that some night during the next month, top will sneak in
during the early hours of the morning while bottom is
still asleep and pounce on bottom. Bottom agrees to
sleep nude and wearing ear plugs.
3. Provide a choice of location.
Bottom agrees to an "open-ended" kidnapping by top
sometime during the next month. Bottom supplies top with
dates and times when bottom is not available.
Care must be taken to ensure that there are no
innocent bystanders or witnesses around at time of "kidnapping".
Additional code words should be used so that bottom knows
this is the arranged kidnapping ("the evil one is waiting for you")
and not a real mugging.
Where will the takedown/kidnapping occur?
(D) public place
Will the entire scene occur at this place or will the bottom be
tied up and blindfolded and taken off to an unknown place
for further interrogation/torture?
What does the bottom want after he/she has been completely restrained?
(A) wants to be left alone to enjoy blissful restraint
(B) wants to be immediately untied
(C) wants additional sensations to be negotiated with top
What does the top want after the bottom has been completely restrained?
(A) wants to gloat over victory leaving bottom to struggle
(B) wants to give additional sensations to the bottom
(A) burglar breaks into house
(B) Kidnapping scenario
1. bottom held for ransom
2. bottom interrogated for information
Roleplay examples which explain how top gets an advantage:
(A) bottom is practicing self-bondage in hotel room
when maid shows up unexpectedly
(B) top claims to be a bondage-photographer. bottom is a model.
After photographs are taken, top reveals he/she has other
plans for the bottom. Or bottom may get nervous while being
tied up and asks to be released, but photographer grins
and says no.
(C) Bottom finishes a drink and finds a note taped to bottom of glass
saying "you have been drugged". Then according to pre-arrangement,
bottom is to feign drowsiness and sluggishness for a given
period of time. Can also be used as a future surprise element.
(D) Top places a handkerchief soaked in lemon juice over bottom's
nose and mouth. Bottom petends this is chloroform and slumps
to ground and remains dizzy and disoriented for a given period
of time or until the top says "you seem to be coming out of it".
(E) Top waves amulet on chain in front of bottom's face at which point
bottom falls into a hypnotic trance that has been previously
induced by the master hypnotist top.
(F) Bottom allows top to tim him/her up for one purpose and then finds
out top has a different purpose in mind.
Action begins in the middle of a script.
There are some bdsm events (such as Leather Retreat) that offer
kidnapping services or allow participants to arrange kidnapping
scenes during the event.
A description can be found at
Does the bottom want to be overpowered by a stranger?
1. The top can arrange for a friend to do the scene
2. The bottom can be blindfolded and the top can
pretend to be a stranger
3. A pair of couples can "swap" tops with each other.
Hire a wrestler.
There are women wrestlers who, for a fee, will do erotic wrestling
with you. Some will do bondage as well. Search the web for ads.
Erotic wrestling pages:
Can hypnosis be used to make the bottom "forget" that he is going
to be kidnapped?
Contests between two switches:
Two players restrain themselves with locks and keys and then race each
other to get their key. Winner of course gets to keep the other one
Both players bind themselves with the keys to the locks restraining
them frozen in ice cubes. The ice cube that melts first releases
one member first.
Tug of war to get key.
The following items are not safe for play use:
(b) knock-out drops / Mickey Finn
(c) date-rape drug
(d) tranquilizer darts
Is a stun gun safe for use to immobilize a bottom?
Is laughing gas (nitrous oxide) safe for play?
(A) Avoid handcuffs. They are usually not safe with a struggling
bottom. You can fall and break a bone. You can get nerve damage.
If you want to use handcuffs during roleplay, be sure to double lock
them and the bottom should agree not to struggle ("oh the futility of
escaping from handcuffs").
(B) It is important to get the bottom off their feet as soon as possible.
Tackle them and knock them down onto a bed. Pin the bottom down
with your body. Use your hands and feet to hold the bottom down.
(C) Get leather cuffs onto the bottoms hands as quickly as possible.
Velcro closures are quick. They do not have to lock at first.
Use the D-rings to attach the hands together with either a rope
or a double-ended snap. Get the locks added in afterwards.
(D) If not using leather cuffs, get any sort of rope around the
bottom's wrists. Doesn't have to be pretty. Just enough to slow
the bottom down. Make it neat and secure afterwards.
Get the feet tied after the hands are tied. Tying the feet with
the ankles crossed makes it impossible for the bottom to hop away.
(E) Get hands tied in front if it is easier or more convenient.
Get their hands moved to the back later.
(F) Suppose you are on top of your bottom and he/she is pinned down
on the bed but you are having trouble getting rope around their wrists
or getting cuffs on. Use some force or intimidation:
1. Twist their arm until they comply.
2. Squeeze or bite their nipple until they comply.
3. Put your hand over their nose and mouth and block air intake
until they comply. (Be careful here!)
You have the bottom's hands tied in front and you want to get them
tied in back. Or you have the bottom tied up one way and want to
change it to a more secure restraint. Or you want to move the bound
bottom to a different location where they can be further restrained.
(A) Always keep 3 limbs restrained. If the hands are tied in front
and you want to get them tied in back: First, make sure that the
feet are tied and the bottom is tied to something so that they
cannot move away. Tie a rope around the bottom's waist with the
knot out of reach. Tie the right hand tightly to this waist rope.
Now you can untie the rope binding the bottom's hands together.
Use both hands to hold on to the bottom's left hand. (The right hand should
be tightly bound to the waist. Bring the left hand to the back of
the bottom and tie it also to the waist rope. Now you can untie the
right hand and bring it to the back. Tie the right hand to the
left hand in the back. When this looks secure, you can remove the
rope holding the left hand to the waist rope (or leave it there for
(A) Penalties to top if fail to restrain bottom
(B) Incentives to top if get bottom restrained by certain time
(C) Incentives to bottom to get out
Copyright 2002 by Questioner@comcast.net .
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